Five minute Friday

It's a sad state of affairs this week in our world. As the news kept us up to date and reports came in last night I just kept thinking this is not good,  things are going to get really bad, this is evil, this is scary, my babies are growing up in a world I fear, what do I do, how do I protect them, I'm so sad for these families, this is terrible, what do we do, how do we pray, why, what's next, what can change, my heart hurts,this is terrifying! All these thoughts in rapid succession.  When I woke up to feed Lyla at three I just prayed and held her for a long time.  This morning the same, maybe a little more defeated feeling because reality sank in. How can this be and how do I not live in fear??? I'm not sure I can turn in the news today but I feel almost obligated to hear more. I can't use the line lives matter because it feels divisive. People are hurting, innocence is lost, and mourning is everywhere. I know I'm not taking this day for granted and holding my babies close in prayer and probably a little closer physically today as well. My brain and heart are overwhelmed, they can't make sense of this week. Looking forward to a brighter morning and today is just heavy.